CRES founded 1982 _ On the web since.1997. 

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Planning Points

     Please copy these Planning Points with the responses you are able to make at this time and send them to me at
     We will plan the wedding you desire.
Thank you.                                      

Vern Barnet
link to FULL INDEX
Regular times for ZOOM PLANNING

Basic items 1-10; items 11-21 also welcome.

1a. Wedding date and ceremony start time.
       For full rentals, this is often 30 minutes or more
       after the rental time begins.

      example: June 8, 2025 Saturday 2 pm
1b. Rehearsal date and time if desired
     Rehearsals not available for brief wedding rentals.

2a. First Person's legal name
2b. Name in ceremony (James or Jim) 
2c. Age today
2d. Address
2e. Phone(s)
2f. Email address

3a. Second Person's legal name
3b. Name in ceremony (Joan or Jo) 
3c. Age today
3d. Address
3e. Phone(s)
3f. Email address

4. Will you have a marriage license from the state in which the wedding will take place (Missouri at Pilgrim Chapel) or is this wedding a ceremonial occasion without legal considerations?
     a. legal with marriage license    LEARN MORE  
     b. ceremonial only      LEARN MORE
     c. any details you wish to share

5. If you will have a marriage license,
    please include the names of your
    two adult witnesses

    to sign the documents (license, certificate) here:

6. As far as religion goes, the ceremony should be
a. civil (no religious references)
    b. spiritual without reference to a particular faith
    c. Christian
    d. multi-faith
    e. other _____________________

7. About marriage vows -- 
a. We wish traditional vows.
     b. We will write our own,
         perhaps adapting these suggestions.

8a. About readings --
     a. We want no readings.
     b. From the list here 
        we want the following, numbered . . . .
     c. We have chosen other reading(s), 
8b. Reader(s) --
     x. We want the minister to do the reading.
     y. The person(s) to offer the reading(s):

9. How many people (total everyone) might attend?

10. If you are presently out of town, when will you both will arrive in Kansas City?


11. List Wedding participants
         In addition to the couple and minister,
          others may be involved in ceremony.
          Same-sex couples can adapt as they wish.
          Besides the
 two witnesses, wedding roles may be --
          Examples for large wedding--  
     Bride's Escort: George Brown, Jane's father
     Bride's presenter: Bride's Mom and Dad
     Groom's presenter: Groom's Mom and Uncle Tim

     Matron or Maid of Honor: Mary Green, bride's aunt
     Best Man: Tom Thomison, groom's best friend
     Bridesmaids: Lucy Toms, Jane Wit
     Groomsmen: Larry Toms, Sam Wilton
     Flower Girl or Boy: Jane Smith, Jim's daughter (5 yrs old)
     Ring-bearer: Timmy Smith, Jim's son (6 yrs old)
     Ushers: Groom's brother, Bride's aunt
Readers: John Barnes, Bride's uncle
Guest Book attendant: Jack Carnes, neighbor
   Flower duty: If the bride carries flowers and has no attendant
                           standing with her, who will hold the flowers
                           from after the formal  welcome until
                           just before the concluding benediction?
     Musician: Felicia Limon, guitar 
     Sound Engineer: Jonathan Loksan, friend 
     Photography: Jack Carnes, Super Photo Studio
     Videographer: Salli Keps, Glory Memories, Inc

12.  After you are dressed and ready for the ceremony,
      a. We are happy to see each other.
      b. We want to wait until the ceremony begins before seeing each other.

13. Will you exchange rings? 
     2 rings /  1 ring  / no rings

14. Do you want to include your children in a vow ceremony?
     Yes /  No  /  Maybe / Does not apply

15. Your entrance / processional plans:
     Different styles explained here
             1 or 1+ Traditional Plan
             2 or 2+  ChapeL Plan
             3 or 3+  Paired Plan
             4 or 4=  Couple Plan
             5 . . . .   CustoM Plan:

16. Please include a remembrance of those not with us by name: 

17. Any announcements you want made by the minister, such as
     a. turn off cell phones
     b. take no photos during the ceremony
     c. please take photos of the ceremony
        and send them to the couple
     d. reminder of reception time/place
     e. throw flower petals as the couple exits
     f. ____________________

18. Your plans for music:  live  /  recorded  /  none
Additional information:
           ADVICE about RECORDED MUSIC

19. Your plans for photography: 
       Before the ceremony
       During the ceremony
       After the ceremony

Here is a basic wedding sequence, followed by additional optional rites. How might you wish to alter or add to this sequence?

    Witnesses sign license, certificate LEARN MORE
    Minister greets guests informally LEARN MORE
    Lighting of candles
    Prelude and
    Seating of parents and special guests

    Welcome by the minister
    Consent and Presentations
    Prayer [if desired]
Reading(s) [if desired]
    Exchanging of Vows and rings 
     [Any special rite]
    Pronouncement and embrace
    Benediction [or Farewell Wish]

21. If you have a wedding announcement or registry site (,,,, etc), noting it here will help me get acquainted and prepare for your wedding.
     If you have an electronic invitation, or can take a picture of your printed invitation, and can send that to me, I'll have a better idea of the kind of wedding you envision.

The "paperwork" usually includes both a License and a Certificate. The Marriage Certificate is yours to keep. (A Certified Copy of the License can be
sent to you if you requested it when applying for your License, or you can request it later.)
     a. We will return the License to the Court.
     b. We'd prefer you to return the License.

The couple provides the equipment and materials
  • unity candle ceremony
  • sand ceremony
  • wine-box ceremony
  • wine or cardamom seed rite
  • giving flowers to parents
  • symbolic gifts
  • for weddings with full rentals: rites from specific faiths such as Christian Eucharist, Hindu aarti, Buddhist bells, Muslim Bismillah in Arabic, Jewish breaking of a goblet and Priestly Benediction in Hebrew, American Indian smudging, hand-fasting, and so forth
     By welcoming your guests to what may be for them an unfamiliar place, with appropriate reminders (such as the custom of standing when the bride appears) and previewing the ceremony, a more comfortable and enjoyable wedding for everyone can then begin.

     Let me know if you prefer to be called by your familiar name ("nickname") during the wedding
(Jim instead of James, Babs instead of Barbara).

Before the wedding, after I prepare the license and certificate, I invite the witnesses to sign. Most brides and grooms want to be with their guests or have photos taken and not fuss with paperwork after the ceremony, and chasing down the witnesses can be awkward. Taking care of the legal requirements before the ceremony works well for everyone.


     Your wedding should be what you want it to be.  When we visit to plan the ceremony, as I get to know you, I may have suggestions for achieving your desires. If you wish to examine ideas available on the web for additional ideas before we meet, here is one website that may be helpful.