CRES founded 1982 _ On the web since.1997. 

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Planning Points

     Please copy these Planning Points with the responses you are able to make at this time and send them to me at
     We will plan the wedding you desire.
Thank you.                                      

Vern Barnet
link to FULL INDEX
Regular times for ZOOM PLANNING

Basic items 1-10; items 11-21 also welcome.

1a. Wedding date and ceremony start time.
       For full rentals, this is often 30 minutes or more
       after the rental time begins.

      example: June 8, 2025 Saturday 2 pm
1b. Rehearsal date and time if desired
     Rehearsals not available for brief wedding rentals.

2a. First Person's legal name
2b. Name to be used in ceremony
2c. Age today
2d. Address
2e. Phone(s)
2f. Email address

3a. Second Person's legal name
3b. Name to be used in ceremony
3c. Age today
3d. Address
3e. Phone(s)
3f. Email address

4. Will you have a marriage license from the state in which the wedding will take place (Missouri at Pilgrim Chapel) or is this wedding a ceremonial occasion without legal considerations?
     a. legal with marriage license    LEARN MORE  
     b. ceremonial only      LEARN MORE
     c. any details you wish to share

5. If you will have a marriage license,
    please include the names of your
    two adult witnesses

    to sign the documents (license, certificate) here:

6. As far as religion goes, the ceremony should be
a. civil (no religious references)
    b. spiritual without reference to a particular faith
    c. Christian
    d. multi-faith
    e. other _____________________

7. About marriage vows -- 
a. We wish traditional vows.
     b. We will write our own,
         perhaps adapting these suggestions.

8. About readings --
     a. We want no readings.
     b. From the list here 
        we want the following, numbered . . . .
     c. We have chosen other reading(s), 
     x. We want the minister to do the reading.
     y. The person(s) to offer the reading(s):

9. How many people (total everyone) might attend?

10. If you are presently out of town, when will you both will arrive in Kansas City?


11. Wedding party participants
     In addition to the witnesses (#5 above),
      please provide the name of the Bride's escort(s)
     (if any):

and any others such as best man, maid-matron of honor, groomsmen, bridesmaids, ushers, flower child, reader, guest book attendant, parent, musician or sound engineer, two witnesses
     Bride's Escort: George Brown, Jane's father
     Ring-bearer: Timmy Smith, Jim's son (6 yrs old)
     Bride's presenter:  Her Mom and Dad
     Groom's presenter: His Mom and Uncle Tim
     Ushers: Jim's brother, Lucy's aunt

12.  After you are dressed and ready for the ceremony,
      a. We are happy to see each other.
      b. We want to wait until the ceremony begins before seeing each other.

13. Will you exchange rings? 
     2 rings /  1 ring  / no rings

14. Do you want to include your children in a vow ceremony?
     Yes /  No  /  Maybe / Does not apply

15. Your entrance / processional plans:
     Different styles explained here
             1 or 1+ Traditional Plan
             2 or 2+  ChapeL Plan
             3 or 3+  Paired Plan
             4 or 4=  Couple Plan
             5 . . . .   CustoM Plan:

16. Please include a remembrance of those not with us by name: 

17. Any announcements you want made by the minister:

18. Your plans for music:  live  /  recorded  /  none
Additional information:
           ADVICE about RECORDED MUSIC

19. Your plans for photography: 
       Before the ceremony
       During the ceremony
       After the ceremony

Here is a basic wedding sequence, followed by additional optional rites. How might you wish to alter or add to this sequence?

    Witnesses sign license, certificate LEARN MORE
    Minister greets guests informally LEARN MORE
    Lighting of candles
    Prelude and
    Seating of parents and special guests

    Welcome by the minister
    Consent and Presentations
    Prayer [if desired]
Reading(s) [if desired]
    Exchanging of Vows and rings 
     [Any special rite]
    Pronouncement and embrace
    Benediction [or Farewell Wish]

21. If you have a wedding announcement or registry site (,,,, etc), noting it here will help me get acquainted and prepare for your wedding.
  • unity candle ceremony
  • sand ceremony
  • wine-box ceremony
  • wine or cardamom seed rite
  • giving flowers to parents
  • symbolic gifts
  • for weddings with full rentals:  rites from specific faiths such as Christian Eucharist, Hindu aarti, Buddhist bells, Muslim Bismillah in Arabic, Jewish breaking of a goblet and Priestly Benediction in Hebrew, American Indian smudging, hand-fasting, and so forth
     By welcoming your guests to what may be for them an unfamiliar place, with appropriate reminders (such as the custom of standing when the bride appears) and previewing the ceremony, a more comfortable and enjoyable wedding for everyone can then begin.

     Let me know if you prefer to be called by your familiar name ("nickname") during the wedding
(Jim instead of James, Babs instead of Barbara).

Before the wedding, after I prepare the license and certificate, I invite the witnesses to sign. Most brides and grooms want to be with their guests or have photos taken and not fuss with paperwork after the ceremony, and chasing down the witnesses can be awkward. Taking care of the legal requirements before the ceremony works well for everyone.


     Your wedding should be what you want it to be.  When we meet to plan the ceremony, as I get to know you, I may have suggestions for achieving your desires. If you wish to examine ideas available on the web for additional ideas before we meet, here is one website that may be helpful.