these Planning Points with the responses you are able to make at this time
and send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
. This will help me know how to plan the kind of wedding you desire.
Basic items 1-10; items
11-20 also welcome.
1a. Wedding date and actual ceremony start time.
2a. First Person's legal name
1b. Rehearsal date and time if desired.
2b. Name to be used in ceremony LEARN
2c. Age today
2f. Email address
3a. Second Person's legal name
3b. Name to be used in ceremony LEARN
3c. Age today
3f. Email address
4. Will you have a marriage license for a legally
recognized marriage or is this ceremonial only?
5. We want the wedding to be
c. any details you wish to share
a. very simple
d. other ______________________
6. As far as religion goes, the ceremony should
7. About marriage vows --
civil (no religious references)
without reference to a particular faith
We wish traditional vows.
b. We will write our own,
perhaps adapting these suggestions.
8. About readings --
a. We want no readings.
b. From the list here
we want the following, numbered . . . .
c. We have chosen other reading(s),
x. We want the minister to do the reading.
y. The person(s) to offer the reading(s):
9. How many people (total everyone) might attend?
10. If you are presently out of town, when will
you both will arrive in Kansas City?
11. Wedding party participants --
as best man,
maid-matron of honor, groomsmen, bridesmaids, ushers,
flower child, reader, guest book attendant, parent,
musician or sound engineer, two witnesses
role: name, relationship (age
Ring-bearer: Timmy Smith, Jim's son (6 yrs old)
Witness: Mary Smith, Jim's sister
Processional Escort: George Brown, Jane's father
12. After you are dressed and ready for the
a. We are happy to see each other.
b. We want to wait until the ceremony begins.
13. Will you exchange rings?
2 rings / 1 ring / no rings
14. Do you want to include
your children in a vow ceremony?
Yes / No / Maybe / Does not apply
15. Your entrance / processional
Different styles explained here
1 or 1+ Traditional Plan
2 or 2+ Chapel Plan
3 or 3+ Paired Plan
4 or 4= Couple Plan
5 . . . . Custom Plan:
16. Pleases include a remembrance
of those not with us by name:
17. Any announcements
you want made by the minister:
18. Your plans for music:
live / recorded / none
ADVICE FOR MUSICIANS
19. Your plans for photography:
ADVICE FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS
20. Here is a basic wedding
sequence, followed by optional rites. How might you wish to alter or add
to this sequence?
Witnesses sign the marriage documents
Minister greets guests informally LEARN
Lighting of candles
Seating of parents and special guests
Processional [often with music]
Welcome by the minister
Consent and Presentations
Prayer [if desired in a religious ceremony]
Reading(s) [if desired] #8
Exchanging of Vows
Pronouncement [and embrace]
Benediction [or Farewell Wish]
Recessional [often with music]
EXAMPLES OF SPECIAL RITES
unity candle ceremony
wine or cardamom seed rite
giving flowers to parents
for weddings with more than
hour rentals: rites from specific faiths such as Christian
Eucharist, Hindu aarti, Buddhist bells, Muslim Bismillah
in Arabic, Jewish breaking of a goblet and Priestly Benediction in Hebrew,
American Indian smudging, hand-fasting, and so forth
ABOUT THE INFORMAL GREETING
This is often appropriate
for full Pilgrim Chapel rentals, less often for "elopement" rentals in
an intimate gathering where site use is limited to one hour.
NAME USED IN CEREMONY
Let me know if you prefer to
be called by your familiar name ("nickname") during the wedding (Jim
instead of James).